6 Tips for Supporting Your High Schooler Through College Admissions and Mental Health Challenges

I am publishing this blog on September 11th, and before we jump in, I wanted to pause to reflect on the gravity of that day. I was a junior in high school, and the current juniors in high school hadn't been born yet.

My Own Experiences From That Day

I was walking down the hallway with my friend Riley, and another friend, Greg, came up and told us what had just happened. Riley and I were coming from AP Art History. We ran into the library to see what was happening on the TV there (no one had phones), and I saw the second plane hit live on TV. You hear about flashbulb moments, and that was one for me. Then, we all went to class, and my next class was Pre-Calculus. Sitting in that classroom was surreal as my teacher tried to start teaching math as if nothing had happened (I'm sure he didn't know what else to do). Later that day, they finally let us go home early. I remember my mom coming out into the driveway to give us all hugs, terrified and relieved that we were okay. So you might be thinking, why is she telling us all of this - I think it's important to remember that there are days and times when everything else ceases to matter and time stands still. Everything always picks back up again, but all that mattered for that day was that we were safe. As parents, part of our job is guiding our children through pivotal moments, often filled with uncertainty, fear, and hope. I hope these blogs balance the college admissions frenzy with these 6 crucial tips for you.

For those of you with high school juniors or seniors, the college admissions process is one of these significant moments—a season of parenting that can feel overwhelming, especially when your child is also managing a mental health challenge. Below are 6 tips for supporting your child through the college admissions process if they have a mental health condition and even if they don't! Throughout all of my blog posts, I walk you through the keys to getting through this one step at a time, listening deeply, and trusting that there are many paths to happiness and success.

1. This is Just One Stage in Your Child's Journey

The college admissions process is just one stage of a much longer journey. It’s easy to feel like every decision is monumental, but this is one season in your child’s life, and it will pass. What matters most in the end is not the name of the college they attend but how they feel supported throughout the process and, more importantly, through their mental health challenges.

As you help your child navigate their choices, focus on the big picture: Who are they becoming? What do they need to thrive—mentally, emotionally, and academically? These questions are more valuable than asking, What college will they get into? This blog post walks you through this tip in more depth: https://www.edpathcoach.com/post/where-do-i-start-to-figure-out-my-student-s-path-1

2. Listen More Than You Talk

This season is not just about logistics and deadlines; it’s about supporting your child emotionally as they face an uncertain future. The college application process can bring out many fears—about leaving home, about fitting in, or about managing academics and mental health in a new environment.

One of the most powerful ways to help your child is to listen—not just to their words but to the emotions behind them. Use reflective statements like, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed right now,” or “I hear that this is making you anxious.” These simple acknowledgments can help your child feel heard and understood, which can be incredibly grounding when their mental health feels shaky. Here is a link to a video I recorded about using this skill.

3. All Paths Can Lead to Happiness

The idea that there is one "right" path to success is not only false but harmful, especially for a child managing mental health challenges. The pressure to conform to societal or peer expectations can exacerbate anxiety, depression, or other struggles. Help your child see that happiness and fulfillment can be found in many places and that it’s okay if their journey looks different from their peers.

Whether they attend a community college, take a gap year, pursue vocational training, or choose an alternative path, remind them—and yourself—that success doesn’t come from the name of a diploma. It comes from finding a path that fits them and supports their well-being. I have recorded five different interviews exploring alternative paths - 2 with mental health providers, 2 with parents, and 1 with a college staff member - and they are listed below:

• How to Navigate Post-High School Options with Mental Health in Mind - Hear from a Parent Who Has Been There Before

• An Interview with a Mental Health Counselor on the College Search and Transition

• Video Interview - Exploring Recovery Support @ Virginia Commonwealth University

• Hear from a Parent Whose Been There Before! Embracing the Journey

• Embracing Alternative Paths After High School: A Conversation with a Clinical Social Worker

  
  

4. Exploration is Okay

For parents and students alike, the college admissions process can feel like a sprint to the finish line. But it doesn’t have to be. Encourage your child to approach this time with curiosity and an open mind. Instead of focusing solely on the "top" schools, help them explore colleges that offer robust mental health support services, smaller class sizes, or a more flexible academic structure—whatever aligns with their needs.

It’s okay if they don’t have all the answers right now. College is not the end of their growth but rather a place where they can continue to discover who they are. Allow them to explore their interests, strengths, and passions without the weight of expectations.

5. Keep Your Blinders On

One of the most complex parts of this process is resisting the urge to compare your child’s journey to everyone else’s. The pressure to follow what "everyone else" is doing—applying to a particular set of schools, pushing for specific extracurriculars, or aiming for top-tier colleges—can be immense. But it’s essential to keep your blinders on.

Your child’s mental health and well-being should always come first. If that means their process looks different from their friends, that's ok. You’re on your child’s team, and it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world is doing. Focus on what’s best for them, even if it means taking an unconventional route.

6. You've Got This

Parenting through the college admissions process—especially when your child is managing mental health challenges—can feel overwhelming. But you are stronger than you think. You've navigated difficult times; You'll get through this, too. Trust your instincts, lean on the people who can support you, and most of all, believe in your child’s ability to find their way.

This is just one season. There will be highs and lows, but in the end, what matters most is that you’ve walked alongside your child with love, patience, and an open heart. Let today’s reflection on resilience remind you that every challenge and transition is an opportunity for growth—for both you and your child.

Wrapping up

On this day of remembrance and reflection, I hope we can carry the lessons of perseverance and hope into our parenting. This season of your child’s life is just one step in their journey, and there is no "right" path to happiness and success. Stay present, listen with empathy, and trust that you’ll find the best way forward together.

You've got this. ✨

As always, I look forward to your conversations with your students, teens, and young adults. Let's make this journey joyful and transformative for them!

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Need help developing a game plan to start the college admissions process? 

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